Arby's something...
Okay, so I usually take pictures of things I eat and write about them later when I have time. Usually I remember everything about them, but this time, I forgot the name. It's like, a special item too, so it doesn't show on the Arby's website. What I do remember though, is that THIS SANDWICH WAS AWESOME. I wish I could remember the name damnit. It's roast beef, some peppercorn ranch sauce, and provolone or mozzarella, or swiss or something, and it's on a soft french baguette. I remember it's tasty as fuck though. Soft and creamy and chewy and meaty and cheezy. The bun is perfectly toasted too. It's probably called something like Ranch Roast Beef Baguette or something. I dunno, go find it yourself. The curly fries were fucking amazing this time, as they usually are. I remember my first review on Arby's sucked, because somebody working there was a jackass. This time, everything was awesome, but I can't remember the name. ALSO, this picture makes me realize that I reaaaaaally need a new camera. My phone sucks, and my pictures always look dark and washed out. This makes this sandwich look like rotting flesh. FUCK, I DON'T KNOW WHY ANYBODY READS THIS, AND TAKES ANY ADVICE. Clearly I'm the worst food reviewer ever. HEY PEOPLE, HERE'S A HORRIBLE PICTURE OF FOOD THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF, BUT YOU SHOULD TRY IT. Holy shit. SOME MAJOR IMPROVEMENTS NEED TO HAPPEN HERE FOR THE NEW YEAR. This is the worst review ever lol. If anybody still actually takes my advice though, go to arby's and figure out what this sandwich is called. It's DELISHUS.

Burger King Sausage Croissan'wich
Hell yeah Breakfast. Breakfast is way too good to not review the sandwiches. Except wait.. I haven't done that yet. What the hell why not Josh? FUCK I DUNNO, BUT IT'S TIME FOR BREAKFAST. The Croissan'wich is awesome. Pretty standard though. Most breakfast sandwiches are the same routine; sausage or bacon, with egg and cheese, on a buttered bun. It seems like the difference between restaurants is the bun. McDonalds does it on an English Muffin; classic. A&W does it on a burger bun; meh. But BK does it on a croissant... A FUCKING CROISSANT. CROISSANTS ARE DELICIOUS EVEN BY THEMSELF. Soft, flaky, frenchy, mmmmmmm... All warmed up filled with breakfasty shit makes this the tastiest sausage sandwich in my opinion. It's all about the Croissan'wiches. Sausage, Bacon, OR shaved ham, it's all good. The ham's nice if you want something a little leaner, except wait... I don't give a fuck about lean. I can eat as much fat as I want, because I always wash it down with a delcious DIET COKE. Yeah... It's diet, which not only means it tastes way better than than garbagey ass syrupy regular coke, BUT THE ASPARTAME ERASES ALL THE FAT. TRUST ME THAT'S HOW IT WORKS. I'M A SCIENTIST. (I failed grade 12 science) SUCK MY DICK SCIENCE CLAAAAAAAAASS. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY.

Harvey's Great Canadian Bacon Bacon Burger
Welp, I admit it... I've been jealous of USA for a long long time. They've got so many fast food places that WE DON'T. WHY NOT? WHAT THE HELL AMERICA!? ='( CARL'S JR, JACK IN THE BOX, POPEYE'S, SONIC, CHECKERS, DEL TACO, I could go on and on. Mind you, some of them are pretty horrible, and haven't made it across the border for a reason, BUT I'D STILL LIKE TO HAVE THE CHOICE! Regardless, we do have something that they don't, and that's Harvey's. Delicious. Burger King's all "Have it your way", but Harvey's fucking builds your burger in front of you, exactly how you want. It's magical. THIS BURGER IS NO DIFFERENT. IT'S MAGICAL. "Bacon Bacon?" you ask? YEAH!!! Regular bacon, AND BACK BACON, on a thick patty, on a crusty bun. WAAAAOOOW. IT'S GOT BACK BACON, AND IT'S CALLED THE GREAT CANADIAN? YOU MIGHT AS WELL STAND UP AND SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM BEFORE YOU EAT THIS SHIT. You feel like a goddamn patriot. Take that america. This is a delicous burger, and you make it exactly how you want, with whatever you want on it, so it tastes the best. I highly recommend the Spicy Mesquite sauce. It's delish. Also, their poutine is off the chaaaaaain, and their chicken burgers are so good. If you don't eat at Harvey's, you're a chump-ass, busta-ass, canada hatin-ass, lookin-ass nigga.

Taco Bell Cheesy Gordita Crunch Combo
So I'm sure you all have heard of the ten commandments. But what I'm sure you're unaware of, is that there are actaully eleven. The eleventh commandment states "Thou shalt not forget about Taco Bell" Yes, God went forth to write this commandment, after he found so many of his sheep to look past this holy grail that is Taco Bell. God went onto say "Thou shalt feast upon the Cheesy Gordita Crunch Combo, and behold! Your cup shalt runneth over with flavor! For it is a feast that shalt conquer ones hunger, and battle thy tastebuds." In other words, IT'S FUCKIN' GOOD. Alright, so you start with your Cheesy Gordita Crunch. This is a taco on steroids. You've got your basic beef, lettuce, and cheese on this taco; but they put this irresistable Gordita sauce on it that makes you wanna jizz. BUT IT GETS BETTER. Then, they take this taco, and wrap it with A SOFT THICK TORTILLA LINED WITH CHEESE. Like... It's soft, yet crunchy. Smoky, yet flavorful. POWERFUL, yet forgiving. Yes, this is a taco to end all tacos. But, to top it all off, this combo comes with FRIES SUPREME... FREE OF CHARGE. YEAH WTF IS RIGHT. Okay Bell... so what you're telling me is that, not only do I get the taco of taco's. BUT I GET THE FRIES UPGRADED TO SUPREME AT NO EXTRA PRICE. THIS DEAL MAKES MEXICANS AND JEWS HAPPY. Political correctness? PEACE BRO. MEXIJEWS UP IN THIS BITCH, MUNCHING THE BEST COMBO EVER. Oh yeeeah. You can't go wrong with Fries Supreme either.  You've got tasty french fries, and then you load them up with beef, tomatoes, cheese sauce, sour cream and chives? THAT'S SO SUPREME. SHOVE IT INTO A COMBO WITH A GORDITA, AND YOU'VE JUST LANDED YOUR ROCKET SHIP ONTO TASTY PLANET. One small step for man, ONE GIANT STEP FOR TASTEKIND. BLAM.

Dairy Queen's Flamethrower Burger
Dairy Queen, oh Dairy Queen... Her Majesty the Dairy Queen. How art thou so sweet, yet so spicy? Yes... in my head, there is a Fast Food Kingdom, and it is ruled by the king himself, Burger King, and his queen, the Dairy Queen. Burger King rules the kingdom with his firm fist of POWERFUL OVERSIZED WHOPPERS, and the Queen lightens up the mood with her DELICIOUS ICE CREAM TREATS. With this balance, the kingdom stays quite happy. However... the queen has a dark naughty side, and the proof is in the Flamethrower. Although this sandwich isn't extremely spicy, it's got enough kick to leave some heat on your tongue. This is surprising as you don't usually get spicy burgers from fast food joints, especially from a place that makes sweet creamy treats all day. It's nice too, because it's not just hot sauce added to a burger, but it's a unique spicy creamy sauce that envelops the burger with mouthwatering flavor. Every bite feels like a punch to your mouth, in a good way. Spice is always the best when it's accompanied by lots of flavor, and the Queen DELIVERS. Flame-sauce, pepper jack cheese, thick jalapeno bacon, juicy beef patty, and fresh lettuce and tomato, make a lovely burger. My mouth is watering right now just thinking about it. The nice thing too, is if you eat this at DQ, and you get too much spice in your gob, you can cool down with a cold, amazing blizzard... OMG MY MOUTH IS JUST WATERING SO BAD RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT TO GO GET THIS RIGHT NOW BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE DQ IS FUCKED AND ISN'T OPEN ALL NIGHT LIKE MCDONALDS IS. MCDONALDS HAS MCFLURRIES BUT THEY'RE HORSESHIT COMPARED TO BLIZZARDS, AND THEY DON'T MAKE ANYTHING CLOSE TO A FLAMETHROWER BURGER. IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME. I HAVE TO STOP WRITING THESE SO LATE AT NIGHT OR I'M GOING TO KEEP EATING THIS STUFF BEFORE BED AND TURN INTO A GIANT FATASS. =( Gosh darn... Sorry... Go get this burger though. It's a keeper.

McDonald's Filet-O-Fish
Mmmmm, that's right. The infamous Filet-O-Fish. This thing gets such a bad name by everybody who HASN'T EATEN ONE. The first thing people say when I ask why they don't want to try one is, "Do you really trust fish from McDonalds?!" Uh... YEAH, I DIDDLY-DO. It's a goddamn brick of whitefish, that gets breaded and flash frozen, and then deep fried in scalding hot oil. None of the imaginary fish germs that you're imagining could even survive those extreme temperatures. So if you'll push aside your scepticism, and check this baby out, you'll be happy. Mind you, if you don't like fish sticks and tartar sauce, than don't bother, because this is not the sandwich for you. Kanye West likes fishsticks, and he's not even a gay fish, he's a lyrical genius! I bet he loves this sandwich, and you should too (if you don't get the South Park reference, you're a homo). To set things off, McDonalds cooks the bun unlike any other bun. They steam it! It gives it this soft fresh texture that totally kicks ass. Then they put on some tangy tartar sauce, some breaded fish, and a half slice of cheese (yeah what the fuck, a half slice, I dunno why but whatever)... So you bite into this sandwich, and it TASTES SO GOOD. It's definitely the most different thing on their menu, but it's such a classic. That's why it's been around forever. Try one out if you haven't yet. Word of advice though, don't get the Double Filet-O-Fish... I don't  know who's stupid idea that was, but two fish patties on a single burger is a little overkill. ALSO, make sure you eat this fresh. If you get it to go, and wait until you get home to eat it, you lose the warm steamed bun texture, and cold fish sucks when it's not sushi. ALSO ALSO, if I hear someone tell me that they don't trust the Filet-O-Fish again, I'M GONNA FORCE FEED YOU FILET-O-FISHES UNTIL YOU GET SICK. THEN YOU'LL HAVE A GODDAMN REASON NOT TO LIKE THEM.

Arby's Roast Chicken Club
So, I gotta say I was pretty let down on this visit to Arby's. I usually love Arby's, and it sucks that my first review of them is going to be so lame, just like this sandwich. It was so dry and bland tasting, and the curly fries were old. NOT YOUR FINEST HOUR ARBY'S. Dicks... I know that the curly fries are usually the bomb, but today they just had old ones and it sucked. Also I don't think the sandwich was old, but just not an awesome combo of flavors. The swiss cheese doesn't have enough bite to it. Put that on top of some bland tasting chicken, and use only ranch sauce, and you have A BORING SANDWICH. Yep... Like, put some mustard or something on here. And put some more ranch. Like, do you see that tiny spot of ranch up there? ^^^ Fuckin cheap jews... But seriously don't let this one bad experience stray you from gracing Arby's doorway. Their Market Fresh Sandwiches are so flippin delicious, and they taste like it was made in an expensive deli. Also, I'm pretty sure everybody knows their curly fries are the best thing ever... just make sure their fresh. One more thing you HAVE to try from Arby's, is their loaded potato bites. Nobody really knows about them, and I don't know why. It's like, a potato popper filled with bacon and cheese and shit, and they taste like you're eating a little deep fried baked potatoes with all the fixins. Dip it in ranch and BAM. Best snack ever.

Wendy's Mozzarella Chicken Burger
It's aight.

Quizno's Chipotle Chicken Sandwich
Quizno's rules. Quizno's toasts this shit in a real oven, not some fucking convection microwave at Subway that turns bread into hard bullshit. Their ingredients are so quality, they've got those delicious pepperoncini's FOR FREE. They're toasted, perfectly, with delicious sauces, and their meats, are so... fucking... juicy. This Chipotle Chicken is no exception. Tender strips of chicken breast, wonderfully smoky chipotle sauce, melted cheese, and tasty real bacon make this thing a sensation. The other thing I love about quizno's, is that that their subs have actual recipes, so you go in and say, CHIPOTLE CHICKEN and you don't stand there and pick the sauces and veg. I'm not a goddamn chef. I don't always know what kind of sauces go best with meats. YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK SHOULD TASTE GOOD. They even have sauteed onions and mushrooms. Those things BELONG on a steak sub. You can make your own subs too if you so desire, but just trust them, cause they'll make you a good sub. If you like beef-dip, they have the greatest. Real beef au jus, and real fuckin prime rib. omg... delish.  Subway pisses me off too, like fuck. Don't toast my sandwich until it's on fire. Even when I say, HALF THE TIME, the fucking retard "sandwich artists" don't understand you can open a microwave without it beeping. I TOLD YOU HALF THE FUCKING TIME YOU FUCKAN DUMPASS. NOW, BY THE TIME I GET TO THE END OF MY SUB, IT'S LIKE THE SAHARA DESERT AND IT'S FALLING APART AND CUTTING MY MOUTH. Holy shit. Also, I hate how they advertise new subs and they're all "THIS IS OUR NEW ZESTY BAJA STEAK AND CHEESE SUB" and then you go there, and you ask for one, and they' say "you want cheese on this?" I DUNNO ALADDIN DOES CHEESE COME ON A STEAK AND CHEESE? DID I ASK FOR A STEAK AND CHEESE? FUCK. Then they ask you what kind of sauce you want on the sub? WELL IF I ASK FOR ANY SAUCE OTHER THAN THE ZESTY BAJA, THEN IT WON'T BE A ZESTY BAJA SUB YOU FUCKING RETARDS. Like, could you not just tell me "this comes with the baja sauce and monterey jack cheese, is that alright sir"? LIKE, WHY SHOULD I KNOW THE INGREDIENTS THAT COME ON THIS SPECIALTY SUB? I DON'T WORK HERE... Okay holy did I ever get carried away there. That's just how much I hate Subway. Every sub-shop is way better. Especially Quizno's. So go there people. Get whatever you want because it's all delicious.

A&W Cheddar Bacon Uncle Burger
Folks, what you see in front of you is your lord and savior. The holy grail. The father, son, and the holy ghost. The higher being that is, UNCLE BURGER. Yeah. This is the best fucking hamburger you can get. Not just better than all fast food, but better than gourmet restaurants, and better than homemade. This burger has so much flavor, you may form an addiction. This starts on the bottom bun with ketchup, mild dijon mustard, thick crinkle cut dills, and red onion. "Dijon mustard on a fast food burger?" you're thinking? YEP. IT'S DAMN CLASSY. Then, on top of them is a THICK, JUICY, perfectly cooked sirloin patty. "Wait does he mean sirloin steak, the most flavorful cut on a cow?" YEP. IT'S DAMN TASTY. This ain't no "angus" bullshit like McDonalds. Have you ever heard of an Angus cut of steak? NOPE BECAUSE IT DOESN'T EXIST. Angus is a breed of cow, so an "Angus" burger doesn't specify it has anything to do with steak. It's just a big ground beef patty. The Uncle burger has a SIRLOIN patty. REAL GROUND STEAK. ANYWAYS, Atop this juicy patty is a slice of REAL cheddar. No processed stuff here. Then some thick crispy bacon... Fuck. Is your mouth watering yet, because mine is, and I want another one of these. Omg. ANYWAYS... On top of that, you've got two slices of tomato, iceberg lettuce, and some creamy mayo, all held together by a perfectly toasted bun. It's toasty tasting, but still soooo soft. SO. If you want to feel what it's like to go to burger heaven, EAT THIS. If you want to take a trip of TASTY WORLD, starting in TASTYTOWN, driving to YUM-CITY, sailing to DELICIOUS ISLAND, climbing MT. MOUTHWATER, worshipping UNCLE JESUS BURGER, and then flying back to Tastytown, THAN EAT THIS BURGER. If you don't like this burger, I guarantee you, that you are a fuckface. I don't think anybody can find me a better burger...

Pizza Hut Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza
If you've ever wanted to eat pigs in a blanket, directly after a slice of pizza, than this is the meal for you. If you aren't an idiot, than don't bother. It's honestly 100% mediocre. It doesn't taste bad or anything, but the tastes don't really incorporate with each other. It feels like you're eating two completely different meals. I mean, if they would've used hot dogs as a topping, than it would've worked out, BUT THEY DIDN'T. I mean, you can put mustard on it to give the pizza that hotdoggy feel, but it doesn't make a difference anyways. Plus, if you're smart you would've already figured out that YELLOW MUSTARD ON YOUR PIZZA IS A PARTY. IT TASTES SO GOOD. HOT DOG STUFFED CRUST PIZZA DOES NOT. It's like... Okay. It made me wish I was eating a regular cheese stuffed crust pizza, because those are fucking FLAVOR CITY. It made me want one so bad, that I ordered one today and it was amazing. So... if you want to be coaxed into ordering a second pizza to satisfy your tongue, order this. Or, if you're like me, and just have to try it for yourself because it's new and ridiculous, then also try it. Do it fast because LIMITED TIME ONLY NIGGUHZ. If the previous was neither of you though, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. ORDER A CHEESY STUFFED CRUST PIZZA WITH EXTRA CHEESE, PEPPERONI, AND COVER IT IN YELLOW MUSTARD. YOU SHAN'T BE DISAPPOINTED. =)

Burger King Whiplash Whopper
This is a tasty tasty burger. Spicy pep-jack chz. Some spicy orange whatever sauce, and some spicy crispy onions. Totally yum-dawg. Whoppers are usually pretty damn satisfying though cause they're big, and heavy. Floppy and Juicy. Dripping with mayo... Oh god it's getting steamy in here... I love burger king... especially when they make things spicy. BUT. I have one complaint about this sandwich, and pretty much every one they make. THEY NEVER PUT ANYTHING ON THE BOTTOM BUN and way they cook the meat, combined with how soft their buns are, makes the butt-bun a floppy meat sog-bread crap ass thing. Paired with the fact that they usually throw them together like assholes, especially on Whopper Wednesdays. The lettuce is always giant white hunks, the tomatoes aren't ripe yet, there's like a litre of ketchup, and it's been sitting under a lamp forevz. ADVICE: IF YOU'VE NEVER HAD A WHOPPER AND WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT IT TASTES LIKE, DON'T GO ON HUMP DAY. YOU'LL GET HUMPED OVER. Yeah it's a little cheaper, but you can tell. Fortunately, the test subject I've reviewed, as you can see from the above picture, has perfect tomato slices, proper lettuce, and perfectly distributed sauce. I AM QUITE IMPRESSED WITH THIS SAMMICH. If you like Whoppers, and you like spicy, get this Whiplash Whoppa. It's better than the Angry Whopper. LIMITED TIME ONLY NIGGUHZ. NIGGUUUUUUUUUUUUUHZ.

Nathan's Famous Chzbrgr & Bacon Ranch Fries
Contrary to the way the title makes it sound, Nathan's Famous, is not famous for their cheeseburger and bacon ranch fries. Rather, they're name is Nathan's Famous, and they're actually famous for their hot-dogs. Their burger though, not so good... It's great quality food, but just sort of bland tasting. BUT DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU FROM GOING HERE. You literally should go here just for the Bacon Ranch Fries. They are amazing. They cook these thick crinkle cut potatoes absolutely perfectly. They're crispy outside but soft inside, and the bacon ranch combo makes them deliciaroni. Better than poutine IMO, AND THAT'S NANNERS CAUSE POUTINE IS FUCKIN DEADLY. Seriously get these. Also, their hot dogs are kickass, cause you can get them loaded with tonnes of shit. I've had their philly cheese which is also fucking tasty. This place has so much variety. They have a fish and chip shop, which is good, and they even have FUNNEL CAKES. YEAH. WITHOUT HAVING TO GO TO THE FAIR AND GIVE MONEY TO DIRTY GYPSY CARNIES. This place is so friggin sweet, and their bacon ranch fries are king shit. Just don't get the cheeseburger, cause it's like... it's okay. Nobody wants to go eat an OK burger. Also, this franchise is huge in the states, but just moved to Canada recently. If you're in Calgary, they have one in Airdrie, and for a much closer convenient location to the city, THERE'S ONE IN CROSSIRON MILLS. YEAH WHAT THE FUCK. Both locations open up in buttfuck towns just north of Calgary. Whatever. It's like 15 mins to get there. GO GET THESE BACON RANCH FRIES AND OPEN YOUR EYES TO THE PRIZE. Hell yeah that rhymed. That's how you know it's true. NOW GIT GOIN.

Wendy's Bacon Portabella Mushroom Melt
Holy fuck is that a long name. Barely fits on the page. Luckily you could describe this burger in only three words... Savory, creamy, deliciousy. YEAH. DELICIOUSY. IT'S A WORD NOW. Serious, this burger is legit. I wasn't expecting it honestly, as their last attempts at mushroom melts were more like a wet sponge soaked in campbells soup. Wendy's has slowly turned into one of my favorite burger joints. They've improved their bacon from floppy undercooked bullshit, to this thick, crispy yet tender slice of pork paradise. They made their patties thicker, and started using better veggie ingredients. They also changed their fries from those god awful tasteless undercooked potato sticks, to the best fast food fries out there in my opinion. Those fries combined with this bomb-ass burger, make this combo A ROUND TRIP TO TASTY-TOWN. IT'S AWESOME. This thing beats the hell out of DQ's Mushroom Swiss. I know there's alot of people out there who don't like mushrooms, so for you people, don't buy this. It's not wendy's fault you've got the taste of a 6 year old, or are half retarded. LEARN TO LIKE MUSHROOMS BECAUSE THEY ARE THE BEST. For everybody else out there, go eat this. ALSO FYI. For anybody who enjoyed that Wendy's offered Fresca on tap, like me, YOU WILL BE SADLY LET DOWN. They fucked up, and replaced it with orange pop. =( damn son.

KFC Chicken Bowl
Yeah it's good, whatever. It's fuckin mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, popcorn chicken, and melted cheese in a bowl, whatever. You can't fuck that up. But I didn't even come here to review this stupid chicken bowl. I came to ask WHY THE FUCK does KFC call their value menu the $TREET WI$E menu? What the fuck does chicken have to do with the $treets? Anyone who refers to themself as "street wise" usually includes it in a sentence that goes, "yo dawg fuck skool, i aint do dat shit, but i'm not dumb 'cause i'm STREET WISE." The worst part though, is that the logo is this flashy gold with $'s for S's. What are you trying to say here KFC? People who order from the cheap menu are poor, but $treet wi$e? OR do you want it to be more like "Yo, just cuz I ball hard don't mean I can't save some dollaz on my fried chicken." Like, was that the prerequisite to join NWA? Dre was like "Yeah I buy my chicken at KFC..." Eazy-E's like, "Yo this niggaz got dope beats... AND HE'S $TREET WI$E ABOUT FOOD? WELCOME ABOARD." Who the fuck even approved that name? Sure as fuck wasn't Colonel Sanders. Was there an entire board room meeting and everyone was like, "YEAH SURE." Were there no other ideas? What about WALLET WI$E? I think that's waaaaay fuckin' better. That took me like 2 seconds to think of too. KFC should put me in charge... First task, change the name of the poor menu. Second  task... Make the Double Down a PERMANENT menu item, because that shit is OFF THE CHAIN.

Taco Bell 2 Chilli Cheese Burrito Combo
Taco bell is the tastiest places ever. Nothing is ever bland tasting. These Chilli Cheese Burritos are definitely not bland either, but OH man do they look like shit. They're definitely not the most graceful meal. You feel like a total greaseball eating these sloppy tubes, but they taste amazing. Open it up, drizzle in a packet of hot sauce, and you're set. NOW... This is also the worst thing on their menu for you. At 380cal and 19g of fat per burrito, with 2 in the combo, you're gonna be packin on the chub, because this combo is unhealthy as shit. People are always saying how Taco Bell is THE WORST FOOD FOR YOU IT'S SO BAD FOR YOU. FUCK YOU PEOPLE. They have an entire Fresco menu, and it's actually delicious. They replace the cheese and sour cream with this TASTY ASS Pico De Gallo, and it's still super good. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE, OKAY? So... If you wanna live the tasty life, but are watching your figure, check out the Fresco menu. But if you wanna life the tasty life, and don't care about being a fat fuck, EAT THESE.

A&W Buddy Burger w/ Chz
So this morning, I drive my woman to work, cause it's my day off, and she's all "Stop at A&W before work, I'm hungry". Whenever she says this, I get excited. A&W makes some of the best fast food burgers around. Don't even get me started on the Cheddar Bacon Uncle Burger... THAT THING IS A MASTERPIECE OMG. Anyways, back to the buddy chz. It's fuckin' delish. This picture probably does no justice because it was taken in my car, and it is snowing and dark outside, so whatever. But for real, A&W knows how to make a burger. They always put stuff on the top AND BOTTOM bun. Burger King is the fucking worst for piling everything on top of the meat, and the bottom bun just turns into this flap of meat soaked bread. But I still love BK. NO HATE ON THE KING... ANYWAYS... back to the buddy chz. It's simple. Mustard, ketchup, and onions on the bottom. But this ain't no regular onions. These are sweet juicy grilled onions. They make this burger perfect. People who are like "oooh I don't like onions", can eat these, and be like, "I WAS SADLY MISTAKEN". Then you got the meat, the processed cheese, and then some wonderfully creamy mayo, and the top bun. The bun is slightly toasted, but super soft and good. Plus, these babies are 2 for $4.50 right now, so you can't go wrong. They're just little gaffers, so you gotta get 2. Unless you're not really that hungry, or really poor, then only get one.

McDonalds Steak 'n Egg Bagel
Okay, so this is the second part to my double-poster today. Also, to tell the truth I ate this like, a week ago, so I don't have my own picture. Unlike the McBites, this looks NOTHING like the picture. But I remember everything about it because IT WAS HORRIBLE. Oh man... Okay... So, I had my doubts about getting steak from McDonalds, but whatever, I like to try new items whenever available. So I ordered this and after getting it, I head into my van to eat it. I open this shit up, and bite it and my teeth almost fell out. I don't know what the fuck McDonalds used to cook their bagels, but they turn into cement. Like, this sandwich wouldn't even be so bad if it wasn't served in between two ceramic tiles. It's exactly like their BLT bagel. I dunno how that's a permanent item because only idiots buy that shit. ANYWAYS BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND. After hurting my mouth on the bagel, I decide to eat just the toppings. I open it up, and contrary to the picture, the steak part is like, a third of the size. It was tasty though, had steak sauce on it, and like, 4 sauteed onions; not enough but whatever. The cheese was cheesy, and the folded egg thing was gross by itself. This thing whole sandwich was fucking stupid actually. Thank god it's limited time only cause I don't wanna see it on the menu anymore. Seriously, if they just like, put the steak puck and the onions on their McMuffin platform, it would be delicious. The McMuffin eggs are real and good, and the english muffin has always had an awesome texture. BUT UNTIL THEY TAKE MY ADVICE, DON'T EAT THIS SHIT. Unless you like really hard bagels, then eat it you dummy.

McDonalds Chicken McBites

Alright, so this is my first post. I'm gonna do a double-poster today to kick off my dumb blog. To fill you in, I'm probably going to take a picture of every item I eat when I do a review about it, however today I ate these before I decided to start a blog so THIS WILL HAVE TO DO. Honestly though, these looks exactly like the McPicture. These have been available in the states for a while, and FINALLY they're in Canada. They're good too. The chicken is the same as McNugs, but the breading is WAY BETTER. McNugs have this fuckin, crusty bland coating that sucks, and I only every buy them when McMonopoly forces me to choose between Nugs and Big Macs to get the little monopoly pieces, which you never win anything anyways because it's gay... Anyways, these McBites have what they call a "homestyle coating". Totally awesome, and they keep moist. Also, they come with your choice of "Hot Habanero" or "Cool Ranch". Hot Habanero is actually pretty spicy, and Cool ranch is, well, it's fuckin ranch. But The Habanero surprised me. Didn't think McDonalds would ever have the balls to have something spicy on the menu. Oh well. Anyways, these are good, so eat 'em because it's LIMITED TIME ONLY NIGGUHzz. Also, if you're a pussy, don't get the habanero dip.