Dairy Queen Double Cheeseburger
Cheap, sloppy, and tasty. That describes this burger perfectly. They're always cheap, and always a good choice. But there's a few things you gotta know. FIRST OF ALL. Those pickles are fucking amazing. Something about DQ's pickles make them hella crunchy, and hella good. SECOND OF ALL. This is another burger where everything is on top of the patties, and there's nothing but meat juice soaked into the bottom bun. In order to make this burger better, open the top bun, grab the patties and flip them over. Now there's ketchup and mustard on the top AND the bottom bun. Super smart. NOW THIRDLY, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY. When you order this shit, tell the cashier that you want these burgers NOT MICROWAVED. That's right. They slap these burgers together real fast, and chuck'em into an industrial microwave for about 8 seconds. Now that doesn't sound like much time, but in an INDUSTRIAL microwave, it is. The bun gets nice and warm, but the fucking cheese melts all over the wrapper, and it just doesn't taste right. Now, when you tell the cashier this, she'll probably look at you like, "UM WAT? WE DON'T MICROWAVE THE BURGERS? WHY U SAY DAT" She won't actually say that... but she'll look like that's what she's thinking. Basically, she doesn't want to walk all the way back to the kitchen and take the effort to tell somebody to make it properly. But make sure she does, or she's a stupid bitch... I have so much angst built up for these burger bitchez... JUST DO WHAT I SAY. I'M THE CUSTOMER AND YOU WORK FOR LIKE, 5 DOLLARS AN HOUR. GOD DAMN... Jesus... Okay so anyways, when you tell them not to microwave this, that forces them to cook the burgers a little longer in the broiler, and then the cheese melts naturally on top of the smoky flame broiled burger. The pickles stay crunchy, and the bun stays soft. I have a feeling alot of people don't like DQ because they're so used to eating their microwaved burgers. BUT YOU CAN FIX THIS. Just tell them how you want it! =) Same thing with Burger King. Tell them you want your burger "off the broiler", and they'll fresh grill your burgers ON THE SPOT. Now... I know this sounds like a little bit of work. You have to do 2 steps to make your burger perfect. But it's worth it, especially since cheeseburgers are 2 for 2.99, and doubles are 2 for 3.99. That's only 2 bucks for a double cheeseburger. Now I knooooooow a McDouble at McD's is only 1.39, but the burgers are way smaller than this. You eat 2 double cheeseburgers from DQ and you should be pretty full. PLUS, YOU CAN GET A BLIZZARD AT THE SAME TIME. AND THOSE ARE THE GREATEST THING EVER. GO GO GO GO GO GO.